Saturday, June 28, 2014

Bedtime conversations

Tonight was my night to read books.  My husband and I have a very ritualized bedtime routine.  Every other night he does my son's bath and I read books, the next night we switch.  This was my husband's idea.  It's a bit rigid, but I've come to appreciate the fairness of it.  Last night my little guy and I were learning about bats.

He was thrilled to learn that bats eat wasps, mosquitoes, and other insects.  And then it happened.

Me: "Other bats eat lizards, birds, and even fish!"  (This accompanies a rather ghastly illustration of a sharp clawed giant bat with its mouth open baring its fangs swooping down to wrench a gasping fish from the water.  Eesh...)

Him: (with a flop on the bed and a dramatic head toss)  "OH NO!  NOW THERE IS NO BEAUTY IN THE WORLD!!!!!"

Me: "Is there really NO beauty in the world?"

He turns to me wide eyed and says faintly, "There's only 5% left."

Me: "All animals are part of a food chain.  Every animal's body was made to eat something.  Did you know that even people eat fish?"

He boggles, "WHAT is made out of FISH?!?"

"Well, fish sticks....salmon...."

Him: (obviously ignoring the fish stick part) "Oh, I'm SO relieved I don't eat salmon."

The next page was about vampire bats...nope, nope, nope.  I am a coward.  I skipped straight on to fruit bats.  Maybe tomorrow night my husband can teach him about bats that fasten themselves onto livestock, rip tiny holes in them, and suck their blood...I am not risking any more beauty in the world on my shift!


Monday, June 23, 2014


I'm not gonna brag or anything, but I'm pretty freakin' awesome at this Mom gig. I mean, I turned an old t-shirt into a superhero cape and mask in no time flat. Who does that? Supermom. That's who.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

In lieu of a real post, here's an actual conversation that just happened.

No kidding, this really happened:

"I'm hungry, I want to go down stairs."

"I am feeding brother right now, can I get you a snack?"

(The Hubster hands me a bowl of plain yogurt and runs away)

"No I don't want it. I want to go downstairs."

"Well that's not happening right now."

He yells. I yell back (he had me up with him from 1-3:30 last night, I am not in the best mood.) I go to put the yogurt away and get food he likes. He cries. I come back and silently put the food down. He is crying.

"I think I need to say I'm sorry, so I took a time out. I think I wasn't nice to you. Then I thought, 'maybe she is right, maybe it's not time to go downstairs' but it made me mad when I wanted to do something and you said no."

I am thinking, Stop it, you're three, but all I can say is, "Ok. It is ok."

There's no moral here. I am too tired. Just a simple, "holy crap did that just happen?"



Monday, June 9, 2014

Animal Cruelty.

This looks like a sweet picture of a boy and his dog. It is not. This is a picture of a boy who has run a dog around in circles until she's too tired to move. The poor creature is just relieved that all he wants at the moment is a pillow.

Kiddo is filled with LOVE. Big, big, love. Rough and tumble, flying leap to hug your head when you aren't expecting it kind of love. Climb on your back until it gives out just to be near you love. Big, BIG love. My body doesn't like it, but I get it. Softie, our dog, well, she deserves a medal.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The fundamental flaw in my parenting style.

Playing with butter

"You LET him do WHAT?"

The thing that people question the most about my parenting is The Mess. It is always about the mess. Not the experience, not the fun, not the learning, the mess. As if one should care about the mess. As if the mess is the most awful thing one could imagine.

If I had a quarter for every incredulous question, raised eyebrow, or disapproving look I would be a rich woman rocking a designer diaper bag.