The Potty Fairy

Kiddo wants to potty train in theory, but not so much in practice. It has been a struggle. His CSID has not helped. Because I respect my readers (somewhat) I will not elaborate. Let's just go with "It's been a rough year, " and leave it at that. But he's old enough that if I don't do something, he's gonna have issues. So when a member of the CSID support group suggested we needed a potty fairy, I was all over that like white on rice.

For those of you not in the know, that is a potty fairy house, and it is awesome. We used kiddo's favorite color paper cups (left over from his birthday) and all the glitter, the best beads, and...tile spacers. He insisted we glue on tile spacers.

The potty fairy makes pooping cool. Because when you go to the potty, (or even just try) the fairy stops by the house you made and leaves smarties, or stickers, and that's kinda awesome. The potty fairy also complicates things, because somehow the treats have to arrive in the house without anyone seeing. Apparently the Hubster and Gigi are not so good at the sneaking, because after they helped me for a week, kiddo asked me to "Please go get some candy rolls to put in the potty fairy house because I peed." He had also discovered the sticker and candy stash I hid in the top of the linen closet disguised as a yogurt container. "Hey Mama, look what I found! It was in the closet! All the potty fairy stickers! Can I pick some out? I pooped..."

Prior to the end of childhood magic, things were actually going pretty well. He was really into using the potty, and he stayed dry for about a week. I suspect he was only staying dry to conserve on Buzz Lightyear pull-ups. Because spaceman pull-ups are the most cool.

This is what my bathroom looks like after a kiddo solo trip to the potty. At least he washed his hands and hung the towel up on something he could reach.

If your still reading. I am going to assume you can deal with some weirdness. Here is a random assortment of parenting moments that I was woefully unprepared for:

• When I found the hand towel in the potty, soaked.
• When he didn't quite make it but almost made it, then tried to clean up, but stepped in it while doing a victory dance that he learned on the internet, and it was all over and I had to clean it up while simultaneously dancing and acting like a bathroom cover in poo was the best thing I've ever seen because a tiny fraction got in the pot.
• When he asked if I had a penis. I said no. He said "no way! Pull down your diaper and let me see in your pants!" No.
• When he asked me "Mama, can I borrow some of your pee?" "Um, no. Why do you need it?" "Because I am all out and I want the potty fairy to give me candy. So...can I have some of your pee to put in my pot?"
• When he delivered a full pot to me while I was nursing and I had to take a picture and send it to his Daddy at work.
• The degree of weird found in borrowing all of the potty books from the library at the same time.
• Every time I found him sitting on his full potty, on top of my couch or (worse) the rocking chair, watching a show on his iPad or reading a book. "Mama, sometimes it helps to read a book or watch a potty video."

Now that we are out of spaceman pull-ups, and the potty fairy magic is gone, and I won't let him sit on his potty on top of furniture with expensive electronics, he's pretty much over the potty thing. It is so last week. We're back to a stalemate in which he won't go, and I am at a loss. BUT I did get pictures of him sitting on the pot trying to go. They are HILARIOUS and you can't see them. Because even I have limits to what I will post on the internet, and one day he might read this. So Kiddo, if you are in your late teens, reading this post and contemplating skipping curfew...don't.

 

-Jen

PS-When I picture the potty fairy. He looks like this:

Only with tiny fairy wings and glitter. You're welcome.

PPS-Do yourself a favor and google "grumpy hair fat man" it is the gift that keeps on giving.

 

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