Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The Ultimate Evening Continues.

The Personal Assistant wanted to make his boat float, so for the first time ever, he took my hand and marched me up to the bath. Then he needed to use all of the colors of bath bombs-blue, red and yellow, so the water was a lovely shade of ick. To make bath time complete, I gave him a few big squirts of Crayola finger paint bath soap and dared him to "paint" his penis blue. So it was also the first time since the he could talk that I didn't have to negotiate to "clean his under carriage".

At 4am Himself woke up screaming, I ran to his room to find him in the chair, no pants. He calmly explained the problem: "I need help getting my shirt off so I can sleep in my streakers". He ended up "in his streakers" in our bed at 4:30, and was nearly asleep when Mr. Baby woke up with a full diaper and teething pain. Mr. Baby then proceeded to pee on me during the diaper change, and thus came back to bed to nurse in his streakers, much to Himself's exuberant delight.

Not wanting to have anything to do with his rather hirsute Daddy, Himself snuggled into my back because, as he explained: "Mommy is one of my favorite characters, not Daddy, just Mommy. Let me see your face. No. Turn your head my way. (Backwards) To my cheek. No! Don't put your head that way! (Not backwards) I need your face! Softie! BE QUIET MOMMY IS TRYING TO SLEEP! Now look of me Mommy, look of me." And so passed the wee hours and my last chance to sleep until bedtime tonight.

Laugh all you want. This ain't over kid.



Friday, May 23, 2014

The Best Day of My Life

When I was attending a conference at IUPUI the summer after my junior year of high school, some of the college students on campus lamented, "Oh man...enjoy your senior year!  It will be the BEST year of your life!"  And then later adults told me, "Enjoy college, they are the best years of your LIFE!!"  I, admittedly, got married just a handful of days after I graduated from undergrad, and still, people told me, "Enjoy your wedding day, it will be the best day of your entire life!"

Monday, May 19, 2014

The Ultimate Evening.

Back when Hubster and I were dating long distance, a client asked me to show her step son around town. Ok. Fine. He, knowing absolutely nothing about me or my relationship, spent the evening trying to convince me that the love of my life was cheating on me, and promised to show me 'The Ultimate Evening.' So of course I told the bartender to hold the alcohol on any and every drink I ordered, no matter what I said, and to charge him top shelf prices. Then I went home and called my future Hubster and we laughed and laughed. Fast forward twelve years (!?) later and we still laugh about 'The Ultimate Evening.'

Friday, May 9, 2014

Playing with our Kids... Or, How long can *YOU* play tag?

I am writing this post for my 5-year-old son, who is a believer in science and research.   You know, except when he's determined that he wants Pluto to be a planet, so it is.  It just is, so there.The other day I picked him up from school and we had some time before I needed to make dinner.

Me: "What would you like to do, babe?"

Him: "I want to play TAG!"

Me: "Playing with you is one of my favorite things...but I do not enjoy tag.  Children love to play tag - so the next time you are playing with children, you can do that.  But, what shall WE do?"

Monday, May 5, 2014

Because I am too tired

My Auntie mailed me a pile of smash books. I think they were supposed to be used to document the boy's lives. I am using them to maintain my tenuous hold on sanity. That's pretty much the same thing right? I'm too tired to write a blog entry, this counts right? Right?