Monday, December 8, 2014

Christmas is over rated.

I am so over Christmas. O V E R I T. We decided to do "Christmas lite" this year and I can't even hack that.

The shopping is essentially done, and now I am waiting for various things to be delivered so I can wrap them.

Someone has been sick in my house since the weekend before thanksgiving. Which means I have not slept since the weekend before thanksgiving.

We skipped the tree because there is no safe way to deal with it and a 3 year old who takes everything apart, and a 10 month old who eats everything and climbs.

This is after I spent an entire day decorating, and a morning cleaning, while sick and sleep deprived.

I decorated the mantle and hung some wreaths. It took all of my energy, (and all of my command hooks) but I did it. Now suddenly all of the extension cords are missing. Not that I would plug them in anyhow, because they are also so dry and brittle that they would probably catch fire immediately.

This is a festive as it gets.

It took 7 trips to various stores to get candles for the windows, and we still do not have candles in the windows. The dog broke one. The other is waiting to go back to the store. We have two of the LED kind in the bedroom windows and they don't shut off until 11pm, so I can't sleep. I am about to throw them out.

The 3 year old has ripped the stocking off the mantle to check them twice this morning. They are now put away. If he touches the bead garland again it is going away. We'll be left with a few dried evergreen twigs, some fire hazzard wreaths, and what ever toys and play dough inventions he has scattered and ground into the living room rug while I write this.

Basically, the house looks like I have been sick for three weeks and dragged yard debris through it for fun.

This is how my child wipes his bum. I have no free time.

I still feel sick.

The Hubster would like to know when am I going to tile the back splash, install the cabinet hardware, paint the shelves, insulate the garage, sew the cover for the hearth cushion and re-tile the bathrooms before my family comes.

My boss wants to know if I still exist.

All I want to know is when will the Hubster stop snoring and where's the vodka.

So to all you Moms of littles trying to decorate and bake and wipe bums and do laundry and shop and suck snot out of noses on heads of irritable babies and get to the doctors and renovate something and wrap presents and mail cards...

We are all freaking nuts. No one actually enjoys this. You are not alone. We should drink more.

I am making my three year old write the Christmas cards this year. It is more fun that way.




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