Conversations with My Personal Assistant

The Personal Assistant on why Gigi is here...with boobs:

 

P: Hi Gigi!

Gigi: Hi buddy!

P: Um...you have personals. Are you going to nurse our baby?

Gigi, wide eyed: Ah...no...

P: Then why have you got them? What are you going to do with them? What do you use them for?

Me: Gigi nursed me with them when I was a baby. Mommies just nurse their own babies.

P: Oh!

 

The Personal Assistant on bead work:

"We are making JEWELRY here people! We're not here just playing with beads. This is SERIOUS."

 

The Personal Assistant popcicles for breakfast:

P: Daddy gave me this popcicle for breakfast!

Me: Oh really?

P: No

 

The Personal Assistant on Caffeine:

P: Why do you drink caffeine Mommy?

Me: Because you and your brother have way more energy than I do and it helps me keep up. And I don't get enough sleep...really I should get more sleep.

P: Oh. And you can't sleep because of the caffeine.

 

The Personal Assistant on Gigi's milk supply:

P: Are you going to nurse our baby?

Gigi: No.

P: But you have personals...oh no...Gigi, did your milk dry up?

 

The Personal Assistant on his reflection in the fitting room mirror:

"Oh! I have never looked more handsome!"

 

-Jen

 

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