1) I meet Jenny for drinks. I have not seen Jenny for a YEAR! I am so excited to have drinks with Jenny. However, neither of us have the number of the cell phone the other person is carrying. We are "kicking it old school." We can not find each other at our predetermined spots. We have both arrived, but are on opposite sides of the "Family Restaurant." Unbeknownst to each other, we call our husbands (at the same time!) to hack into our respective facbook accounts and send messages to the other person regarding our location. Now our HUSBANDS know where the other friend is located, but WE do not know.
2) After locating each other, and laughing (then hugging and laughing again) we decide to get drinks. I make fun of Jenny because I order a Margarita bigger than my hips, and she gets a diet cola. She's obviously a wimp. I tell her so. I say, "Remember back in college when such and such happened with so and so? And you tell me YOU can't get a drink??" I laugh and laugh. Oh. This is when I find out she's pregnant. I'm a jerk face.
3) I'm new at this Kindergarten parent thing. I forgot to send my son's library book back to school for book exchange day. He is sad and cries when I pick him up. I apologize and take him to the local library and get THREE whole new books! See, isn't that better? Yes, yes it is mama. You are so smart, and beautiful! The following three weeks in a row I remember to send the school books back for book exchange day. So very smart. And when cleaning under my son's bed (which rarely happens) I stumble across those THREE books from the public library that are now THREE weeks late.
Scheiß e" if you're going to be all like "She can't even swear correctly!" ).