"Parenthood is magical."
"A new baby changes your life in such unexpected ways."
"Everything is different after you have a baby."
If you are having your first, precious, lovely, perfect child these words will likely be repeated to you over and over by well meaning adults.
If you are having your second child, the conversations get much more fun. So to all my Mommy friends about to have second babies, this one is for you.
Adventure awaits.
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You know those home tours and makeover reveals where everything is pretty and nice. Well, this ain't one of them.
I recently posted a kitchen update, mostly because it was clean. But today I am going to give you the "Average Weekday" house tour. Let's start in the kitchen.
I am aware that the American Association of Pediatrics has some rather prudent guidelines about TV, media, and screen time. Apparently, two hours a day is too much. Kids should be playing, reading, engaging with their environment. I'm cool with the first two, but I could do with a lot less engagement with the environment.
My Personal Assistant's behavior yesterday was so horrible that he has lost TV privileges for an indeterminate period of time. Basically, he can't watch tv or have tech time until he stops asking for it-constantly-at a screaming volume-using phraseology he has not been exposed to under this roof. I am so upset. I really do not know how I will cope.
The following is a true story of what happens when we loose TV privileges. It is not for the faint of heart. You have been warned.
I am so over Christmas. O V E R I T. We decided to do "Christmas lite" this year and I can't even hack that.
Kiddo wants to potty train in theory, but not so much in practice. It has been a struggle. His CSID has not helped. Because I respect my readers (somewhat) I will not elaborate. Let's just go with "It's been a rough year, " and leave it at that. But he's old enough that if I don't do something, he's gonna have issues. So when a member of the CSID support group suggested we needed a potty fairy, I was all over that like white on rice.
Back when Hubster and I were dating long distance, a client asked me to show her step son around town. Ok. Fine. He, knowing absolutely nothing about me or my relationship, spent the evening trying to convince me that the love of my life was cheating on me, and promised to show me 'The Ultimate Evening.' So of course I told the bartender to hold the alcohol on any and every drink I ordered, no matter what I said, and to charge him top shelf prices. Then I went home and called my future Hubster and we laughed and laughed. Fast forward twelve years (!?) later and we still laugh about 'The Ultimate Evening.'
Everyone is fussing about the polar vortex. They have no idea. The real trouble is what happens to kids and therefore stay at home parents, when everyone is stuck inside for days...it gets WEIRD.
I call it "The Toddler Vortex." It is much more frightening than a little bit of cold weather.
If I could, I would totally put on my long johns and happily go to some office somewhere, rather than stay home to weather the storm my toddler has been brewing.
Here's a sample of our morning, before I was able to so much as drink my tea.
So far my morning has consisted of getting up with a teething boy at 4:30. Coaxing him to at least lay down in his crib and watch Thomas while I crashed for a few more hours. Getting back up at 7:30 to screaming which lasted until 9:00 when he decided oatmeal would be acceptable (I loaded it up with peanut butter to help dampen the noise). Calling in a Rx refill to the pharmacy, answering work email, monitoring a call from The Personal Assistant to DiDi and Papa while clearing the dishes, then suddenly rushing a pooping boy up the stairs only to have an accident which resulted in a mess that took 1/2 hour and a dreaded bath to clean up.
